Friday, September 19, 2008

International Talk Like A Pirate Day

So I haven't blogged in a while now. Nana got sick and I had to take her to the ER 2 weeks ago today. She had multiple issues, all stemming from the fact that she only had 1/3 of the necessary blood in her body. She spent a week in the hospital in Bartlesville going thru lots of test but they couldn't find an active source for the bleeding. So now she is in a nursing home down there that is just across a parking lot from the hospital. She is there to get a bit stronger before coming home and a little bit more of a break for me. I have to say that it has been nice to have some time at home to myself. The first night I was a bit scared. lol Just odd to be in this house all alone. That has rarely ever happened in my life, especially not more than one night.

So it was also my first experience with a nursing home. Sure I had been in them as a child. Nana used to take me to see her mother in one I believe, but I was just a toddler then. I had done a little volunteering at one while at KSU with my sorority but I was in my early 20's then and my own mortality wasn't much on my mind. The other day was different. It smells weird in nursing homes. At least in this nursing home, although I hear that about all nursing homes. And it just seemed like a bunch of forgotten old people left there to die. I didn't like the thought of my Nana being included in those forgotten ones. I know that is not the case for all, but it is a reality for many. Made me think of all the times someone has asked me who was going to take care of me when I am old since I don't have or want any kids.

So now on the one hand, I like having a little more freedom and being at home alone and stuff, but on the other hand I don't really like Nana being there and am ready for her to come home soon. It all depends on physical therapy and what they prescribed for her I believe. So in the meantime I will just try to enjoy my peace and quiet.

I've hardly watched any TV the last 2 weeks. I have been reading a lot. First I read The Host by Stephanie Meyer. LOVED LOVED LOVED this book. Now it is certainly no Twilight but her writing certainly makes you fall in love with each one of the characters and you find yourself rooting for different ones at different times. I bawled like a big baby at the end of this book. I hope she writes more because I truly enjoyed these characters.
I've been reading Tweak by Nic Sheff this week. This book has taken me for a trip down both his and my own memory lane of meth addiction. I NEVER used like this guy. In fact I'm surprised he is still alive. But I have flagged so much of this book right from the begining. Secretly I feel like I have fallen a little in love with this guy as sick and twisted as that might be. I mean,
I UNDERSTAND HIM!. Makes me realize that I am just a little more crazy than I thought. I've always liked the broken boys. I used to want to fix them and make it all better but I was always the one who ended up worse off in the end. I don't want to fix them anymore, but the bonding over our broken selves is still so appealing. Yes, I AM sick and twisted and crazy.

But, alas, it's Talk Like A Pirate Day!
My friend Amy, well really her husband Jason, used to like to write me emails and make me talk like a pirate when I responded. I finally found this cool site that would translate for you into pirate talk. How funny is THAT! Let me tell you it is very hard to talk computer problems when you have to talk like a pirate! LOL So, in honor of International Talk Like A Pirate Day I'm sharing some pirate pickup lines. I must say that the very last one is my favorite and seems to be the most effective!

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

By popular demand ...

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!


...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

1 comment:

  1. Ack (I mean, AVAST!) I'm laughing so hard -- thanks for the giggles! Now to explain to hubby why I'm being loud at 3:23am . . .(I be up late with a sick lassie) See you soon!