Pondering…

For the last week I’ve been pondering on the last Reverb 10 prompt. I’ve started a couple of blog post and then trashed them because they just didn’t feel ‘right’ to me. I’ve been sick the last few days and have even laid in bed wondering what this prompt meant to me:

December 31 – Core Story What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?

What in the world IS my core story? At first I was thinking it was one of survival for I’ve come thru a lot in my life, but when I think of a survivor I think of the guy who cut off his arm to crawl out of a mountain or someone surviving the holocaust or cancer. Really I’ve just survived life and that’s no more miraculous than any other person. Recovery came next but while I am most certainly an addict and have once again been thru some difficult times because of those things my story is not so horrible. I never lived on the streets or od’d or many other awful things that others endured and have lived to tell the tale. Maybe it’s perseverance. But the opposite of that would have been just giving up and well, life goes on and while there have been many times I’d like to get off the train I haven’,t and so I wake up each day and continue to do the things required in life whether I feel like it or not. It’s called living. So loss is on the list of life experiences. I’ve lost a lot of people near and dear to me but eventually everyone will deal with that. I just got a huge dose of it early in life. So while I don’t know what one thing is my core story I know that all these things together, along with some other’s like adventurer and creative and spiritual make up my story: survivor, recovery, addict, loss, perseverance, adventurer, creative,spiritual student of life.

I wasn’t going to pick a word this year because I wanted to take that Ali Edwards class at Big Picture Classes and didn’t have the money and so I thought I’d just skip the whole thing ya’ know. But the emails from her blog just keep coming to my inbox and tonight I scrolled thru them and while I’d had the word Adventure in my head, when I saw the word Flourish I knew it was the word for me this year. It’s my time to flourish. This is my year!