Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Monday, July 12, 2010

Final Days

So I'm in the final days of my Kansas residency. I had Nana's estate sale this past weekend. I'm STILL packing my own stuff. I've got a week of busyness and "see-ya'-soons" because goodbyes seem to final. My cat-trapping abilities are not so good but I'm excited to say that I found a home for Boo if I can just catch him to get him there. God sent me a gift in Janice who helped me thru the last week along with my sponsor. These two women will always carry a special place for me for helping me navigate this difficult time. I'm simultaneously happy & sad. I'm scared a little shitless that I'm moving in with a friend because that has never gone well for me in the past. I'm worried about my babies (Windsor & Hambly) and how they are going to take to being on the road for 12 days and also to living in a home with dogs. I didn't give birth to them but I feel the need to protect them just the same. And thru all my tears and worries and anxieties I know I'm going and doing what God wants me to do. Of course there is this itty bitty little nagging in the smallest corner of my mind that is saying "well I hope this was God's will and not SUSAN's will taking over again". I mean it's not like He wrote me a letter ya' know? And doing Susan's will has not fared well for me in the past.  Not sure when I'll get to blog again. Hopefully I can share from the road but I'm not really liking how big the blogium app makes pics so maybe just words of our adventures with pics to follow. Because there will be pics. LOTS of pics.