29 Again. For the 14th Time.

It's my birthday.

My 43rd birthday.

Or as I like to call it: the 14th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday! lol

I'm thinking I might need to start having anniversaries of my 39th Birthday because this 14th anniversary stuff is making me feel a bit old.

But that's just it about birthdays. They are just a number. I mean I SEE and KNOW the years are ticking by but really I still feel about 29. Maybe younger on some days. And well of course a heck of a lot older than 43 on a few days too.

There are several things I've learned from taking care of Nana but one of them being that no matter how OLD your birthday says you are, you'll probably never truly feel it. It's not like there is some chart that tells you how to feel and act at a certain age. There were times I wished there was, but now I'm glad there isn't because I'm always going to be young at heart so the whole age thing will just elude me I'm sure. Wish it would elude my face and body but I'll take it eluding my spirit.

While I was just getting Nana up she said "You're 42?" And I told her that no I was 43 today and her response was "awww..." like an "I'm sorry" aw. lol Then she preceded to tell me she didn't really feel sorry for me since she was going to be 96 next month.

I always like to read my horrorscope on my birthday. One of my fav. astrologers is Jonathan Cainer. This is what he had to say today:

Your patience should soon pay off. If you're not already enjoying life, you'll find plenty to be glad of soon. Things will have a propensity to work out smoothly and satisfactorily, wherever you make sensible effort and display true sincerity. Make the most of what's good. You're fully entitled to do so. Make a mental note too, to refer back to this experience the next time you find yourself wondering whether life is just some constant process of struggle. A new moon in your sign is a promise of more good news to come. Be ready to grasp the opportunities that are surely coming your way in 2010! 

Now I know this is relatively vague but it really speaks to me on a decision I've pretty much made this week. Of course I've learned NOT to make concrete plans concerning my future (unless there are plane tickets involved) but I know what direction I will be moving in in the next few months and I think I can safely say I won't be turning 44 in Independence, Kansas but we will wait and see. See it's important to me to make sure that this direction for my life is God's will and not just Susan's will because we all know where Susan's will has led her before. Not down such a great path, but all necessary to be where I am today on my 43 birthday. And today I have hope for a bright future.